Sai Deodhar: ‘Women don’t understand women’

‘In a family, your mother-in-law or sister-in-law are your core team.’
‘If they don’t support you, it becomes very difficult.’

All Photographs: Kind courtesy Sai Deodhar/Instagram

It’s not easy for women actors in the television industry.

Even before you know it, lead roles change to ‘bhabhi roles’, and Sai Deodhar can vouch for it.

The actor is currently exploring a new phase in her career — direction — and she hopes to encourage other women to start anew too.

Sai tells Rediff.com Contributor Sameena Razzaq, “They used to call me for ‘Achchi Maa‘ and ‘Badi Bhabhi‘ roles. I felt I was being typecast, so I feel the disconnect started for me sooner than for other people. Thankfully, I used to write. I used to feel, theek hai yaar, I will do what I feel is good, otherwise it’s not worth it.”

Do you regret not being able to focus on your career? It’s not easy for a lot of women.

A lot of women have frustrations about not being a mother as well, so frustrations are a part of life.

When you look at what you have achieved against those frustrations, you say, theek hai, yaar, kuch paane ke liye kuch khona padta hai.

You have to have something and let go of something, that’s the beauty of it.

Post-motherhood, when you started looking for work, how did producers perceive you? Were they readily giving you work or did they have reservations?

It’s a very tough industry for women, especially if you want to be behind the camera.

As a producer and director, it’s been a huge journey for me.

I used to tell my husband Shakti that I am having these script narrations, but they’re just going on and on and it’s not happening. My family would then tell me that since I decided what I want to do, I must keep at it and not give up.

I am very lucky because if I didn’t have a supportive family, they would have expected me to act in a daily soap because that has financial security, and not direction.

I feel blessed that they understand what I want to do.

Has the struggle eased?

The struggle is forever.

Finally, I am directing a Hindi and Marathi film now. It’s a huge pressure because somebody is putting so much money on you and you have to prove to them that you are good enough.

When my mother became a director in the ’80s, there were no women directors, especially in the commercial scenario.

I saw the struggle she went through. She used to take me everywhere.

In those days, they used to be surprised to see this middle class woman with a file in her hand, a script and a daughter.

She would tell them I am a film-maker, I want to make a film.

So I have seen my mother go through that.

Even now when I go for a narration, I come across as a very simple person. The frustrations I saw my mother go through, I am going through it now and my daughter is seeing that.

When I tell her, ‘You know, Nakshatra, nobody is giving me work, I am useless’, my daughter says, ‘No, mumma, you are not. You have written a brilliant film. Somebody will believe in you and make your film.’

We can all have unrealistic goals for ourselves, but at the end of it, what is right for you will come to you.

Apart from Ek Ladki Anjaani Si and Saara Akaash, we didn’t see you in lead roles. There was work, but nothing substantial. Do you agree?

At that time, daily soaps slipped into the bhabhi zone because there were no mature love stories. Also, after two-three years, your screen age becomes more.

I did one or two daily soaps as the main lead and then I got pushed into bhabhi and mother roles.

That used to frustrate me big time.

They used to call me for ‘Achchi Maa‘ and ‘Badi Bhabhi‘ roles.

I felt I was being typecast, so I feel the disconnect started for me sooner than for other people.

Thankfully, I used to write.

I used to feel, theek hai yaar, I will do what I feel is good, otherwise it’s not worth it.

Do you miss the stardom you once had?

You started a community app for women on Coto called Back2work. Did the inspiration come from your struggles?

I have been wanting to reach out to women and talk to them.

There are people on Instagram, who reach out to me and say, ‘Bhabhi, kaam karna hai , but samajh nahi aata.’

So I was hoping to connect to them.

When Coto happened, it was an all women platform.

Sometimes I feel women don’t understand women. But they should because in a family, your mother-in-law or sister-in-law are your core team. If they don’t support you, it becomes very difficult.

So on this platform, they can discuss everything without inhibition, without the fear of being judged. There are so many things you wouldn’t want a man to read.

In a year’s time, a lot of things will be happening there and it will help people.

You write, produce and direct. How challenging is it for you to switch between these roles?

It is challenging and frustrating.

I am easy going, and don’t get rattled easily.

If I feel I can’t handle something, I let go.

Your mental peace is of prime importance.

A lot of actors are shedding their inhibitions to work on OTT. Would you be comfortable doing a bold subject on OTT?

‘Bold’ is such a funny word.

Earlier, when we meant ‘bold’, we would talk about Jhansi ki Rani. Today, bold means stripping in front of the camera.

I have never understood the concept of bold.

Yes, I would like to do a bold concept in which I portray a woman who has changed the scenario.

But if you ask me if I want to show somebody stripping, that’s not bold at all; that’s very easy.